In The Beginning, There was Marriage.

I never thought about, as I was walking down the aisle of the little chapel we got married in, that I was going to live the good life. Ah yes, the good life, living with my groom, waking up to him every single day and blah, blah blah. It turns out, I was walking into the beginning of a sitcom. Oh, you read correctly, a sitcom. A life where you never know if you will wake up with an elbow in your nostril. Yes, this is the life I have stepped into ladies and gentlemen and there is no turning back; no way out it’s great!

“Oh, golly gee, this must be another gal who is going to be giving marital advice,”

No.

If you are looking for relationship advice, run away now.

Alright, before I begin, I love my family a lot. I get tons of entertainment from them and laughter is the key to a long life right? Cool, so a little bit about Stephen and I, we are newlyweds of about 8 months and we just moved into our own apartment three months ago. Previously, we were residing at his parents’ house; but that is for an entirely new blog. Our experiences of newlyweds living on our own for the first time has had some challenges as any newlywed will tell you, but our experience would have been more suitable for a sitcom show.

Now, where should we start with our adventures?

Well, we could tell you about the time we forgot to buy a shower curtain for our new apartment and had to use a tarp the first day. That was interesting.

 

Or we could start with when my husband tells me that he is going to cook up the hamburger meat we left in our refrigerator 9 days after it had expired.

That’s a good one to start off with. Picture it, 3 weeks earlier.

My husband and I go on our first grocery trip together and we are realizing more and more as we put things in our cart that we have no idea what we are doing. There was a lot of:

“Do we need this?”

“What does that do?”

“Why do we need baking soda AND baking powder?”

“What’s the difference?”

“Babe, can I get this?”

“No”

“Look at this box of pop tarts! Man of Steel is on the back! CAN I HAVE THIS?”

“Fine.”

 

 Needless to say, it was a fascinating experience that should have been captured by discovery channel and posted on the “marriage in the wild” episode of Nature.

Okay, you know how I said I would not be giving marital advice? I lied.

Lesson number one:

Do not go grocery shopping when you are hungry.

Lesson number two:

If you decide not to listen to lesson number one, do not go grocery shopping when you are hungry AND poor.

Lesson number three:

Do not go grocery shopping when you are hungry, poor, AND tired because your husband gets cranky

If you do not listen to these three very important lessons, I can honestly tell you that I feel no sympathy for you. I understand you, but I do not have sympathy for you.

Anyways, fast forward a few weeks later when the ground beef you forgot was in your refrigerator is currently 9 days old and your husband announces,

 

9 days expired and my husband is making hamburgers! Also, let’s take note that he is making these death burgers at 9:16 in the morning, folks. I will say, the appliances in our apartment are extremely powerful and work at twice the power of a regular appliance. This does NOT mean that our powerful refrigerator is going to prevent the beef from going bad after 9 days.

I’m happy to report that Jesus saved my husband from contracting a terrible stomach virus and all is well in our household.

Another lesson to remember when it comes to 9 day old beef:

“Do as I say and not as my husband does.” It may not always work out in your favor.

 

What are your thoughts? Would you cook beef that has been expired for 9 days?